Be prepared, folks, 'cause this is gonna be another potentially-irksome (read: offensive) commentary on my inner thoughts.
Now, as previously established in an earlier post, it's no secret that I am a Christian who believes in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. It's what I was raised on and I have absolutely no reason to give up on my faith in Him. He is my gracious Protector. He is my God. ... But lately, I hate to admit it, but I have been feeling strangely... unfulfilled, as if the traditions passed down by my family have left me feeling spiritually half-full. Something's not as it should be. Something's almost missing. Or maybe I'm yearning for something new, different, mysterious, and exciting -- and thusly, I have become bored of what I already know and live by. I'm at a point in my life where I've been steadily striving toward an individual identity separate from who I was, and who my parents are; I want to stand out. I want to be unique among my family, and among my community. And in my pursuit of that individuality, one symbol has arrested my attention more than any other...
This being, of course, the Wiccan pentagram. Contrary to popular belief, I feel obligated to point out that this symbol does not in fact refer to Satan; the Wiccan pentagram represents the five essential elements of the religion, these being earth, water, fire, air, and spirit. And that right there is what appeals to me the most: the connection that Wicca has to the natural world. It's something I can relate to on a personal level; I love the woods. I love falling leaves. I love trees. I love the earth beneath my feet. Whenever I'm around nature, I just feel so... free. I feel alive. So is it any wonder why Wicca has arrested my attention as much as it has?
Of course, I'm in no hurry to conform to the religion itself; that would require me to forsake faith in Christ in exchange for faith in an ambiguous god and goddess. And seeing as how Jesus has been very good to me, I have absolutely no incentive to abandon my faith in Him. But this inner reflection of mine isn't about the deity I worship; this is about the life I'm living right now, and how I choose to approach the living world around me. And when I look at Wicca, with its theories and propositions of earthly energy laden in such things as stones and grass and the like, it opens up all sorts of curious and fascinating mysteries I've never even considered before. And to my understanding, there may yet be some scientific backing behind the idea that all living and/or natural things really do have energy about them, which therefore fascinates me even more. On top of all this, I've been learning more about Wicca as well as these natural energies by speaking to a valued friend of mine, who herself is a witch. These lessons with her have found themselves a special place in my heart and I enjoy my time spent with her. It's all so new and enigmatic... it's thrilling.
But even with my fascination, I have to always remember the most important part of my Christian faith: putting Jesus Christ first, and knowing that the Bible is the spoken Word of God. And what does the Bible say about witchcraft? Oh I dunno, why don't we ask it:
18. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. 19. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20. Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21. Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told [you] in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Well... damn... that's pretty specific. Now of course we as Christians know that our sins -- past, present, and future -- have been cleansed by the blood of Christ, and thanks to His sacrifice we are able to enter Heaven so long as we choose to embrace Jesus as the Son of God. But therein lies the base of my conundrum: let's say, for example, that I choose not to incorporate anything Wiccan into my lifestyle. Let's say for the sake of argument that I completely abandon this fascination in favor of living only by the Bible's example. ... Well even if that's the case, thanks to my inherent human nature I'll still be sinning practically every day (oh, and a quick shout-out to Adam... "thanks" for nothing, granddad). If I don't study things like green magick, I'll be hopped up on pornography instead. If I ditch that, I'll still be drinking alcohol with my campus drinking buddy. If I eschew whiskey from my life (...you wish... -clutches whiskey bottle-), I'll still be harboring wrath and hatred toward things like boy bands, militant atheists, Islamic terrorists, and Hillary Clinton. If I do away with wrath and hatred, I'll still be uttering the occasional curse word whether under my breath or out loud. Long story short, I'll still be sinning in all sorts of new and inventive ways no matter what I do.
I know what's expected of me, but let's be realistic for a New York minute here: I won't be perfect or flawless until I'm reunited with the Father in Heaven. 'Till then, I'm a train wreck no matter what I do. It's really just a matter of time 'till God decides I've finished the job He's sent me here for and He calls me back home. Henceforth... in the cosmic sense, what difference does one sin have over another? Put simply, there is no difference. Sin is sin. And sin is inevitable. So with that being said... does it really matter, what mistakes or errors I make here on Earth? Or is it more about what would be good for my individual life?
And speaking of individual lives... I absolutely have to ask: exactly how many traditions held by such institutions as the Catholic Church are directly in-line with Scripture? How in-touch are we with God's Word in this modern society? And further, how many of us modern Christians are really going to Heaven? And even further, is God really proud of people such as Catholics, despite the fact that they pray to saints as well as the virgin Mary? Or are Catholics simply heretical by design? Truthfully you'd be surprised how much of modern Catholicism is influenced not by the Bible, but by Pagan tradition instead! Yet they are cited by many as some of the most serious and devout Christians alive today... but are they, really? There's no bones about it: they don't adhere to strict Biblical rules at all. And yet...
Well, as you can see I've been doing plenty games of logic tennis over this whole thing. I deduce one point, but as is my incentive I seek out a point to counter that. Then something comes up to counter that counter-point, and I keep going back and forth and back and forth 'till I choose to just put it on the back burner for a while. At the end of the day though, what's really important to me about my Christian faith? Jesus put it best: to love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind, and to love my neighbor as myself. These rules are what I put before all other spiritual choices I make: to make sure that Jesus and His guidance comes first.
So, what have I settled on after all this theological jargon? Well, I've decided that I'll continue studying things like green magick, listening to Pagan/Wiccan music, and learning from my friend the tools of the trade; after all this is my life, and I need to find my own path through it. If nothing else, it will be a vital learning experience for me. But in my time of need, whether I seek guidance or just want to give thanks, I will only pray to one God. Because He is my Savior... and no tree or bird can guide my soul to paradise when this life is over.
~M.D.
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